Ode to a Wooly Bugger
Oh wooly bugger! Oh meatiest of the meat hooks, oh travesty of trout world, oh devilish slithering snag. Your wavering pulsating drift hath fooled many a trout and your pulsating hackle shall bring many more. The snarl of your whipped herl, and flash of tinsel clad body rides the currents and drifts the tides like a maribou stallion. Galloping through the eddies and riffles, breathing with the flow, animated and swirling in defiance of carnivorous predators.
Your deviant, erratic, wounded air of flee shall cry out to the depths of instinctive reactions and beckon for a slurp. Your perverted flittering tail billows and undulates like the bosom of a Moroccan belly dancer, and trout, like so many a sailor mesmerized, are drawn in to strike.
You, oh Wooly Bugger, oh, charlatan, oh counterfeit confection, oh fraudulent food source, you facsimile of larva, hellgrammite and leach, your hook shall pierce the lip and haul it in. The hen, the buck, the steel.
Oh Wooly Bugger!